God has asked me to wait for many things in my lifetime. Of course, I wasn’t always this close to him, but I had my parents to remind me that God doesn’t always tell us immediately what he’s doing, but he has an amazing plan.
They were right. In the greatest of my struggles, where I went through seemingly endless chunks of pain and emotional hardship, came the most victorious days, where I received gifts so precious that I completely forgot about the trouble I went through to get to there.
My greatest gift has always been my family, even though we spent years and years of trying to understand each other and walk in the Lord together. It was never easy with all the changes they had to get through when my brother and I were trying to find our identities as teenagers/young adults in different countries. It took us the longest of course, because the victory only came round when my brother and I were 20 and 23. I remember when my eyes were opened — for sure because the people around me were much more honest about how their family situations were.
What I realised about my mum and dad
- I never saw them yell at each other
- That they were always tender and kind to each other
- They were always on each other’s side as a team
- Never made us feel like we had to earn their love
- Respected the decisions we made for ouselves, but always with a gentle push in the right direction first
- Celebrated every small achievement if they knew we did our best
- Always communicated clearly why they were angry with us
- Never held grudges against us even when we hurt them
All this & more.
What I realised about my brother
- My brother hardly ever hit me back, even when I relentlessly tried hurting him
- When he was out, he always thought about me and asked if I wanted food
- He complained, but would do chores and cook for me when I didn’t want to
- Would be anywhere if I really, really needed him
- Never really called me names
Yeah that’s it :p
How could it take me so long to discover I had such a wonderful family? They love and accept me for all I am and I did nothing to deserve it. The closest to my heart.
The second greatest gift is my best friend, Evelyn.
I went to the US and had an extremely tough time there. The entire 2 year period, I asked God why he brought me there and wanted to know the purpose. I thought that he would eventually get to it, but when I touched down in Singapore after two years, I knew I hadn’t discovered it.
Well, till March 2014, when I became friends with Evelyn, my Secondary 3 classmate. She’s a year younger than I am, and coming back to Singapore where the education system is a little more advanced, I was put in the year below me. We had a compulsion, which we now identify as the Holy Spirit, leading us to become friends with one another. She asked me out for lunch even though it was out of character for her to do so, and I said yes. We held a strange sense of admiration for each other that was preluded by disliking each other (like every great and amazing friendship, yes?). When we got into our first argument, we solved it maturely, through talking it out calmly and working out the kinks. Before that, I wasn’t even aware I had those conflict-management skills.
Every conversation with her was robust and filled with newfound wisdom, our teenage brains jogged so expeditiously that we rapidly grew together. We spent almost everyday after school with one another at Evelyn’s house, but when I went home, we would talk into the night. She’s my soulmate. Friendship for us was always smooth, uplifting and exciting, even when the situation around us was a whirlwind. We never grew apart, and when I moved to Perth, our friendship improved. Absence makes the heart grow fonder for sure.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, in 2019/2020, Evelyn’s relationship with God started to change. She had accepted him in 2014, but it was difficult for her to pursue him. She finally experienced God and it made me realise — of course God had been governing our friendship from the start. Friends don’t come as such incredible blessings unless our tie has been breathed on by God’s powerful purpose. We became not only best friends, but sisters-in-Christ. We are doing devotionals now where we always try to turn each other back to Christ, and my love and appreciation for her has grown. We are now connected in the spirit as well, and God has indeed taught us to support each other through seemingly parallel difficult times, even when we were in completely different environments.
Years on, 7 years this year to be exact, and I can’t think of anyone else I would have wanted to experience my teenage years with like that. She for sure set the standard for my future spouse too! Yes, friendship is different, but someone I can be friends with easily is someone I’d want as my partner too. This was an incredible blessing for me, because I never knew that God planned to give me a best friend. Some people go through life not having one, and I found mine at such a young age.
God really showed me the value of patience and trusting in his perfect plan. This is the same lesson he taught me over the course of last year till now, & I have another story about that! It will be the second part of this post. So stay tuned if you’d like!!
